Experience of second Ramadan

'So why do you fast?', I asked my team mates few days ago, as they were preparing for their second iftar - the team one. 'Well...it's just so much more than not eating or not drinking..it is more of being a better person...more of spiritual experience...more of unity with each other and the whole Muslim world', both of them were mentioning almost identical things.Last year I fasted one day. Last year I had Ramadan when all of our Jordanian MC were foreigners, we have not had members, and I barely knew maybe 2-3 people who were fasting.This year I'm surrounded by almost 70 members, and I am the only foreigner in my MC team who is not fasting. Or was not.After this long and exciting conversation with my team in the kitchen over iftar preparation, I decided to fully engage in the Ramadan experience this year: partially because I want to be a better person, and I find Ramadan as a perfect opportunity for me to work on the weaknesses I so want to get rid of; partially because I want to have the experience that the whole country is having, the experience that seems to be so empowering only once you are actually in it.So far - it's been more than I was asking for!Yesterday I septn my iftar with a family member and since I stayed over night there, I had my suhoor with them and it was a totally incredible experience with having the whole family waking up at 4 am, sitting around the kitchen, talking, joking around and eating - I've never enjoyed my food that much as today at 4 am.Feeling of unity with my team, with my members, understanding EXACTLY what they are going through; sitting with them at the Hashem's tables and waiting for that 6: 57 pm to happen; getting a call from a team mate so excited that I am fasting and so anxious to break fast together with me!Incredible experience, joyful and fulfilling. I am so happy I decided to go through itRamadan Kareem from Jordan!

Для тебе
(Вибачай, що буваю несусвітньою баламуткою)

Таки люблю. Таки люблю.
Таки люблю.
Спотикаюся думками до усмішки,
Що робить світ милішим.
Таки люблю. Таки люблю.
Безмежно люблю.
Так хочеться роздушити свою злість
І тебе з нею. Нестерпіти і таки
Гаркнути у відповідь.
Таки люблю. Таки люблю. На диво люблю.

І коли ти регочеш поруч зі мною над фільмом,
Якого ніяк не можемо зрозуміти.
І коли ти вислуховуєш історії про мою бабцю
В тисячний і мільйонний раз.
І коли ти таки готуєш вечерю після
Півгодинного переконування.
І коли ти відмовляєшся їсти мої фрикадельки,
Аж мені від такої прямоти забиває злосно дух.
І коли ти розповідаєш про останні походеньки,
Та сотні кобіт, яких ти звабив/ш.
І коли ти раптовою мовчанкою даєш знати,
Як я тебе в цю мить дратую.
І коли ти танцюєш зі мною,
Та нагадуєш мені про мою привабливість.
І коли ти гладиш моє волосся
Заспокоюючи мою душу.
І коли ти дивишся на мене з усміхом,
Прижмурюючи як завше око,
І лагідно запевнюєш мене,
«І все таки я тебе люблю».

І я... Мій друже. Таки люблю!

From home back home

Last two days have been weird -- constantly catching myself that I am mentioning the word 'Ukraine' more than ever; feeling guilty for missing out last few important weeks; feeling insanely weird for my team mates not recognizing me at the airport (changed my hairstyle a bit); feeling out of place and order; feeling 'I am back home' and missing Ukraine; feeling strange sleeping in my own bed again, watching 'Friends' with my team, and getting calls from the members.

At this moment though:

I know I am back. I know I am happy to be back. I missed you and though I love Ukraine dearly, I know I've found my second home here.

Love to Ukraine.
Love to Jordan.

'As long as he needs me...'

As long as my country needs me...

I think it does need. As all the other young people.

Last three days I only heard people talking about youth bringing changes, and belief and hope in students and the future generation as the only thing that can help Ukraine.

Yes, it does need us

Life at the 2nd circle or...

...How shifting the location changes the perspective

Moving from the suburban rich area of Daheyat Rasheed to poorer but livelier Jabal Amman has opened up Jordan for me in a way as never before.

I constantly keep saying to myself ‘two years in Jordan’, and how much deeper I understand the country and the place now.

I wake up early in the morning to sit outside on the porch, rest under the sun and get my energy for the day.

I go to repair shoes, buy vegetables & fruits, and cook.

I take my time off the day to wander around the Mango Street, its cheap Chinese stores and stock up my wardrobe with random second hand shirts, dresses, hair clips, and loads of other stuff necessary or not much in my house.

Some days ago I threw a ball back into the yard where kids were playing football. Apparently was voted by them as the coolest foreigner on that corner. At least, that’s what I convinced myself into.

I have friends dropping by and chilling at the porch.

I have evenings when I need long, and I mean – long, hearty conversation and then I drop by a friend’s place to watch movies, chat and drink tea.

I played with kids last weekend

I walk to buy some good Lebanese snack in the shop around the corner in my old clothes – no need to change for one minute walk

Cats outside drinking our milk!

Clowns at the roundabout entertaining kids and me

I sit with my friends at the roundabout playing cards, drinking hot coffee and feeling a part of second circle crowd

I listen to Lena Chumamyan, sitting outside my house, watching the stars high above, with peace in my mind and love in my heart

Bali ma’ak, Jordan…

My team

Random musings on progress

Over course of last year I’ve been observing lots of expatriates in Jordan, being one myself. And though cultural sensitivity and open mind is the virtue to hold, I can’t stop noticing our pre-judgment.

Even unconscious, even with best intentions, we tend to measure it up against what we know, and it takes way longer time to truly get rid of the one way to see things and fully look into a different one.

It requires open mind not only on the surface, but the ability to challenge the core perceptions on what we call right or wrong.

- Why do we consider ability to deliver structured document and meet deadline a progress, and freak out if done otherwise?

- Why do we consider scientific researches, amount of existing technology a progress?

- Why do we consider democracy a progress?

- Why do we consider ability to wear short skirts a progress, and freak out from headscarves or full covers?

And my biggest question (me, being agnostic, and not really relating to any religion):

- Why do we call a progress being non-religious and living in non-religious community and freak out from people who put God as the centerpiece of their affairs?

If you put belief & faith as the core of all you do, it sets such totally different understanding of the world (Does not matter if belief is for Jesus, Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), Budda, or any other).

Why do we consider religious people blinded, deaf and not able to relate to the modern world? Who defined what a modern world IS?

‘Faith comes before hope, faith comes before love’. Who defines that the atheists are more progressive, while the believers are lost? Think honestly: don’t we all at times pity people for their religious believe? Don’t we all at times disguise them for their ‘inability to see things clear’?

Even unintentionally we are still measuring against, fitting it all into our way of living, seeing things and defining it according to what we see as the future direction of humanity.

Don’t we all bring our bits of ‘expertise’, ‘knowledge’, ‘arrogance’, instead of humbly shifting into the existing structure/ways of society, do we?

Long one, but worth it :)

Last weekend I had most unorganized, relaxing, lovely and stunning trip I’ve had in Jordan. Definitely gets to my top ‘To do list’ in Jordan that one won’t ever be able to repeat!

Thursday evening I was dying to get out of Amman. My feet needed hiking, and my body needed to get out there close to nature, and hit the road – road trips are in my blood. I decided to go to Dana Nature Reserve – magnificent place in the middle of Jordan, with loveliest nature and lots of hiking options. Saturday was planned to be in Aqaba, where Momani (my team mate) lives, and where Jan, his sister and Brian were planning to chill out (at the Red Sea).

Settings

Action – Dana Nature Reserve, Desert Highway, Aqaba

‘Actors’ – Momani: my team mate, Jordanian; Sahar: Momani’s sister, and me

Tip 1

When traveling in Jordan beware of very simple economical principle: buses leave once they are full. My patience was tested to limits…Just like Momani’s, who was chosen by me, as someone to put my frustration about the bus driver to. Poor him, he was not too happy…

….3 hours travel by bus to Tafileh, then Quadsiyeh, and we arrived to Dana Village. That’s when I miraculously gained a new family status: to ease communication with the bus driver I was appointed as a relative (cousin on my mother’s side) to Momani & his sister! Alas, I had a family with me again!

Tip 2

When traveling in Jordan make friends with bus drivers, and they will make sure you pay less than the ones who don’t take time out of the ride to entertain them with the chats.

…Hike. Shortly: it started all the way down to the bottom of the Wadi Feinan (Valley Feinan). 1 hour later Momani decided he wants to actually ‘HIKE’, (quote!) and not just ‘follow the boring trails’… He pressed the button of my pride, and I randomly chose the mountain to climb ‘without the boring trails’… Little did I know where it will end up. 1 more hour of our intense climbing, 1 lost half bottle of water, and Mohammad’s sister decided it was just totally enough for her! We made up our mind to go back, but since Sahar was on the other side of the hill, Mohammad rushed to ‘save his sister’s life’, while I was struggling up the hill in 100 degree Celsius sun. Being all alone, swearing and rushing from shade to shade (that of course was every 100 m, not more) I thought I’d not make it till the place where my friends were…Confess: I did not cry, but it was hell close to it. (Momani, don’t laugh, when reading this…)

Tip 3

Subtle hints don’t work, obvious hints don’t work. ‘Just saying it’ does not work either with me, as I figured it out. The Sun was SCREAMING: take water, lady, take water… I did not get it. When hiking in Jordan, remember it’s a f***ing DESERT – take water!

…Half way up the hill, with one glass of water left, I saw Mohammad rushing to me. His sister was ‘dying’ 100 m away, while I was ‘dying’ here. And in that moment I realized how happy I was to have ‘a family’, at least for one day! Supported by Momani’s kicks I managed to get to place where they stayed with his sister. The end destination ‘Hotel’ was still far in the distance… My & Sahar’s legs phenomenally became allies and stop working. The one glass of water we all had gave us some strength, but not enough to get up that hill… That’s when strategic decision was made to send Mohammad up the hill alone to the hotel, and get us some water…As you can imagine I’ve not felt that much love to a person in a long time! Mohammad became my dear brother, hero, best friend, all other possible things you can think of in that situation, as he hiked up to the hotel.

Tip 4

When traveling in Jordan, invite with you a male/guy/boy/man. No doubt, their support will be immense!

…Having got water, having climbed up the hill to the hotel, haven eaten fresh hummus and salad, having taken pictures with Sahar & Mohammad, I finally came to a conclusion it was one of the best hikes I’ve ever had! But that’s not the end to my lovely weekend!

Tip 5

When traveling in Jordan, one does not need to plan. The best things happen when you set off randomly, with the hope that somehow you will figure it out!

…Of course, none of us had clue how to get from Dana to Aqaba. We all hoped for ‘we will figure it somehow out’, and after half hour of consultations with all possible people at Dana Village, I threw in the idea of hitch-hiking. It turned it was exactly what three of us, exhausted from climbing, but full of adventurous spirit wanted! Short cab drive to Desert Highway and half an hour of endless ‘stop, you loser!’ and ‘no, we don’ want to stay overnight at your place’, couple of angry shouts from Momani as Sahar & I tried to make friends with car drivers (not the best thing for two ladies in the middle of nowhere…as turned out), and finally we found the perfect ride: pick up truck, full of kids (car was stuffed up to the roof!), and enough kindness in the driver to give us a ride for free!

Tip 6

When traveling in Jordan, do hitch hike, and do make sure you get into pick up truck… Reasons stated below.

…It was one of the most stunning experiences I’ve ever had in life. Driving in the back of pick up truck, listening to beautiful Syrian music (Lena Chamamyan), hearing simultaneous translation of the songs from Momani, talking about life & universe, and observe most glorious sky full of stars…Dozens, tons, millions of them were above us, as we silently drove on the Desert Highway, amazed by the beauty you don’t get to see too often in your life. I will never find enough words to describe what I felt at that moment. Try it yourself!

Tip 7

When traveling in Jordan, try to get as lucky as me who has friends in Aqaba, who have FAMILY there!

…My team mates from last year will confirm how GRAND food you can get at Momani’s & Sahar’s family house at Aqaba! Mansaf again, followed by splendid chill out at the Red Sea, snorkeling, ‘boating’ on the Sea, overseeing coral reefs & sunk ship, arguilah (water-pipe) at the beach, and bestest power naps you can ever have in Jordan!

Conclusions

Jordan is lovely.

Unplanned trips rock.

Trips with local Jordanians rock.

Hitch-hiking rocks.

Lena Chamamyan is my new love in Arabic music.

Momani’s family rocks.

And we are coming back to Dana again – this time for much longer.

Jealous. Deadly jealous. Hating it.

Thank, my friend, for conversation till 4 am. It helped...